Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
