The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
