I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Randomize
