But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
i love accidental penises.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
