This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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