the new term for farting is butt boxing.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
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