I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
