Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
