If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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