someone owes me an orgasm
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
