all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
