Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
