Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
