so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
