If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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