You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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