Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
