Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
