So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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