everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
