he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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