I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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