Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
