bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit