i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.