you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
25 People Confess The Most Awkward Situation They’ve Ever Been In
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
These Are 21 Of The Most Delusional People Ever
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.