One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
