I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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