I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
My dick has a subreddit
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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