I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
