I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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