Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
