Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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