My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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