She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
