your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
