is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
