i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I want to stick my p in your. b.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
