How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Send help, water and tortillas.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
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