Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
