If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
