**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
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