I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I think people are normalizing furries
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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