it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
two words: eviction party
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
