I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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