It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
