i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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