Sponge bath it is.
Wtf am i supposed to tell my kids when they ask about my first time? "Mommy got drunk off her ass and fucked a total stranger in another stranger's bedroom, then got abandoned by the selfish prick and walk of shamed to the nearest gas station to call a cab, but ended up passed out in a park in a pool of her own puke."
At least mommy was smart enough to use protection and hack into the asshole's facebook account.
Well of course. Mommy may be a slutty drunk but she ain't no idiot.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize