I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.