I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body