He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
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I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
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He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?