So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
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