i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
