I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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