Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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