Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
