I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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