it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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