plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
