what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Randomize
