i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
