is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
