hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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