I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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