grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
